yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
