i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
