She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
