I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
