My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
they're like a gay fantastic four
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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