i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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