we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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