Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Randomize
