Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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