just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
