sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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