and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I think I sprained my soul last night
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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