Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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