i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
