so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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