It's Friday. Sex?
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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