i always forget guys have bellybuttons
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
