I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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