My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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