the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
