and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
