i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize