Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
