Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
