the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize