I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
