i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
