i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Randomize
