O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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