I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
