i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
