she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
