You really coming over, don't trick.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
