Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize