Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
