its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
