just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
