I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
