oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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