Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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