My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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