On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
there is glitter all over my balls
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
