mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Randomize
