Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Of course I have a pirate flag
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
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