You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
