im gay
i know
yea but for you.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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