My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
