he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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