You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
