Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
