so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
