So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
