Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
