Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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