Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
