used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
