well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Sorry about my life...
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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