ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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