Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
