This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
