drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
